


without you

by JAYDIEKINS



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Cancer, Character Death, Cheating, Coping, Cousin Incest, Cutting, Depression, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, Loss of a Lover, M/M, Modern AU, Mpreg, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Terminal Illnesses, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Yaoi, established sasuke/itachi, sasuke has cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:49:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26720935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAYDIEKINS/pseuds/JAYDIEKINS
Summary: ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❛ 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘄𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 . . .❜⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀sasuke is dying, itachi is devestated,⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀& shisui is regretful.⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	without you

**Author's Note:**

> sasuke :: 16  
> itachi :: 20  
> shisui :: 21
> 
> italic's :: memories / past or texts.

**without you**

"dearest?" itachi says quietly as he enters the hospital room. he peaks around the door first, to see the sight of sasuke peacefully asleep. he exhales softly, and carefully opens the door. he makes sure hes quiet as he enters the room. which was quite warm. sasuke always got cold easily, and itachi could remember when he was first moved to this room. sasuke was a bit overjoyed to learn he had his own unit to control the temperature in his room. and of course, despite how many blankets he had, he always kept it warm. 

itachi makes his way over towards the unit, to make it just a bit cooler in the room. as well as crossing the room once more towards the window. he unlocks it, and carefully opens it to let the fresh air brush through. the wind gusts a bit, and causes strands of his hair to waver. he tugs at a hair band on his wrist, and uses it to tie his hair back into a low ponytail, with a few strands left out to frame his face. he always hated having his hair down, although on rare occasions when it was down, sasuke loved to play with it.

he stares at the window for a moment, before bringing his gaze back to assure sasuke was still asleep. although to his surprise, he was not. a pair of black, doe eyes was staring back at him. blinking a few times before speaking, "its cold" he says softly. and itachi can only chuckle in response, turning back around to close the window that allowed the wintery chill to flush in. sasuke grumbles a bit before shifting in his bed, followed by a slight whimper.

itachi quickly rushes over to aid in keeping sasuke comfortable. the iv's in his arms made each movement bring a stride of pain. itachi gently reaches one arm under his next, and helps scoot him down the bed a bit. he could tell sasuke was still half asleep, and was on the verge of falling back into his slumber. itachi makes his way from the room, and into the hallway where he spots one of the nurses. he smiles at her, and requests a warm blanket. at this point the entire staff had become use to it, and were more then happy to obligate. 

she passes it over to itachi, who by the time he returns to sasukes room. the younger boy has already fallen back asleep. despite that, itachi still slips the blanket over top of him and tucks it beneath his neck. sasuke is drawn to the warmth, and snuggles up beneath it. yet, he would much rather be snuggled up in his lovers arms. a gentle smile curls itachi's lips, leaning down to place a kiss against the skin of sasukes forehead. just before taking seat in the chair next to his bed. 

it had basically become their home, as itachi couldn't stand to stay at their apartment alone. he had tried his hardest to care for sasuke so he wouldn't need to go to hospice, although it proved to challenging. and doctors urged he'd be placed into one. itachi didn't like it, not one bit. it made him feel like he had failed sasuke, like he wasn't able to take care of him properly. even though he had tried his hardest, it just wasn't enough. 

and perhaps thats what saddened him the most, that he was powerless. he couldn't save sasuke, he couldn't take care of him, he couldn't fucking save him. and he remembered that day, on the rare occasions he could sleep he'd dream of it. the time they had found out, itachi had, had hope until that moment. that the treatments would work, the trial drugs, everything. something would work, right? but that day, that they explained it was terminal. his whole world crashed, yet somehow sasuke still smiled at him, as he always did. 

he relaxes back into the chair, and glances at his phone. it still had a thin crack across it from where he had dropped it when he found out the news. he traced his fingertips across it, as if it was mocking him from that day. that had been almost 4 months ago. and he knew, his brain knew, sasuke didn't have much longer left. yet his heart tried to deny it, to find a reason, to cling to anything away from reality.

he sighs, leaning back into the chair. that had basically became his bed for the past two and a half months they spent in hospice. he always refused to leave sasuke, unless it was absolutely necessary. often times he would leave to get snacks to sneak into his lovers room. or to get fresh flowers to keep by his bed side. he had maybe been to their apartment three or four times over the course of the two and a half months they had been there.

itachi continues to trace his fingertip over the crack in his phone, lost in his thoughts. until he felt the vibrating of his phone in his palm, and his mothers contact name appears across the screen. he silently thanks himself for not turning the ringer up, and quietly steps up from the chair. making sure his footsteps were as quiet as could be as he made his way from the room. glancing over his shoulder to check on sasuke just one last time before he left the room. whom was still asleep.

"hello?" he asks, taking the phone and pressing it to his ear the moment he spoke. hes greeted with the soft sound of his mothers voice, asking how hes doing. he gives her the same answer he has for the past four months, that hes fine. although he wasn't, at all. but, he didn't want to take the focus off sasuke, he didn't want to talk about how he felt. he can hear his mother audibly sigh on the other side of the line, before asking her next question. 

"how is he?" she asks, and itachi's body suddenly becomes stiff. and he feels a chill rush over him, before gulping. "hes managing" itachi says, gazing down at the floor. "good, thats good" and you can tell her voice is wavering. she loved both her sons, more then anything. it wasn't uncommon for the uchiha to keep their bloodline pure. although itachi had already been arranged to marry a woman from the clan, and when the wedding was near, he refused. he always knew he loved sasuke, always. 

his father had disowned him for it, as marrying the woman would of brought their family into even more wealth. but itachi didn't care about that, he didn't care about having a huge house, he didn't careabout ruling the world. he didn't care about having a high paying job, all he cared about was sasuke. and having enough to make them happy. that was all he wanted, a simple life with the boy he loved. 

although, almost every had expected itachi and shisui to marry, up until the moment it was released shisui couldn't bare children. yet, in itachi's mind it was never a possibility, whether he could bare children or not. he didn't feel that way for shisui, they had a close knit friendship, that was until shisui developed feelings for sasuke. and even if it broke itachi's heart, sasuke liked shisui back. itachi was happy, as long as sasuke was truly happy.

and it wasn't the fact that shisui dated sasuke, it was how poorly he treated the boy. and how horribly their relationship left off. after watching the pain sasuke went through, itachi knew he had to confess his true feelings. 

X

_"i love you" itachi says, the words just tumbled from his lips before he could even think about them. sasuke's eyes widen, staring back at him as itachi gulps. they had said this thousands of times, that they loved eachother. but why, why was this time different. was it possible, could sasuke feel the raw emotion radiating from the older. "i am in love with you" itachi says, taking a deep breath once more before speaking again._

_"i am in love with you" he repeats, shaking his head to gain his composure. "and i know, i know that love is just a scream into the void" he chuckles sorrowfully. "that oblivion, heartbreak, its all inevitable" he adds. "that were all doomed, that one day this world will end. and that all our labors, all our work, our memories, our everything, one day it will all turn to dust" as he takes a careful step forward. "and i know, i fucking know one day the sun will swallow our earth, and everything we've ever had" as a tear begins to stream down his cheek._

_"but" he manages to choke out, before speaking again. "i know that if this world is doomed, if the sun shall swallow this earth. i will be doomed, holding your hand" he says, "because i am in love with you, sorry". he widens his eyes, shocked at the words that had come from him. slowly closing his eyes, until he feels a sudden heavy weight on him. and a pair of smaller arms wrapping around him._

_"i love you, too"  
  
  
_

X

"itachi?" his mother calls from the other side of the line. itachi shakes his head, gathering his thoughts before giving her a simple 'hm' in response. "i'll be coming by in a few days" she says, and itachi already knows their father won't be joining her. he hadn't seen the pair since they moved out together half a year ago. sasuke hadn't done anything wrong, he never did. he always did well in school, he loved his father. and itachi never understood why their fathers hatred and resentment towards him, had to be applied to sasuke as well. how he refused to see his dying child, over hatred for the other.

no matter what itachi thought, it wouldn't change his fathers ideology. right now sasuke needed him, he needed itachi more then ever. and thats all that mattered, because itachi would never leave his side. he was promised to him for eternity. he sighs softly and gazes down. staring at himself for a moment, before he finished speaking to his mother and quickly getting off the phone. he leans back, against the hospital wall and exhales. 

dressed in a pair of black sweats, with a simple black shirt tucked beneath it. he reaches into the pocket of his sweats, and pulls out a small box with a smile. he opens it carefully, exposing the expensive engagement ring that hid within it. they had been together for nearly nine months, but none the less, itachi knew sasuke was all he wanted, forever. and even if they were doomed to be apart, he wanted to be promised to sasuke, forever. 

although, he lacked the courage to truly ask. even if their time was limited, he couldn't will himself. out of fear of sasuke rejecting him. how silly of him, to think that sasuke would reject him. and everyone he had confided in had told him how truly silly it was. yet, he just couldn't help but have the thoughts linger.

hes forced from his thoughts when he hears a dinging of sasukes phone from the room. narrowing his eyebrows as he quickly slides the ring back in his pocket. speed-walking back to his room, to his surprise, sasuke was still asleep. itachi chuckles at the fact, that he could probably sleep through a hurricane. 

he makes his way over towards the table like piece of furniture next to his bed. gazing at sasuke in the process of picking up his phone, and smiling until his attention reached the phone. shisui's number wasn't even saved in sasuke's phone, yet itachi knew exactly who it was. reading the text that lit up across his screen. 

_"i miss you . . ."_ it read.

although itachi was quick to unlock the phone, as sasuke and he knew each others passcodes. considering they were the exact same thing, which was their anniversary. he thinks for a moment, about just deleting the text. but no, that wasn't good enough. not for someone who had done what he had done.

 _"stop texting him."_ itachi says in short. and just as hes about to delete the texts, a response comes through.

 _"itachi, please."_ and he scoffs the moment he reads it. 

_"stop fucking texting him."_ before he deletes the texts. 

"itachi?" a soft voice murmurs, itachi coo's at the gentleness to sasukes tone. gently placing the phone down back on the bedside. "just a spam call, love" he says as he moves to sit back at his seat next to the bed. sasuke nods, rubbing his eye and sitting up in the bed a bit. he whimpers in his attempt to move, and itachi is quick to help support him. "i have you, don't worry" he says, as sasuke holds tightly onto his arm, breathing heavily. even such small movements, took so much of his energy.

"you need to rest" itachi says with a smile, bringing a hand up to sasukes cheek. using his thumb to gently brush across sasukes skin. "i need you" sasuke pouts in response. and itachi can't help but cackle at the smaller boy. although, a frown nearly curls his lips when he realizes how much skinnier sasuke had gotten. as if he wasn't already tiny enough, he seemed to have lost even more weight. he was barely able to get up, but the last time they used the bed to weight him, he was just on the brink of 96 pounds. 

it was hard for him to eat, as his appetite had completely diminished. they were lucky if they could even get him to eat once a day. usually it took a while, and a lot of praising and encouragement from itachi. he rarely ever ate in the morning, although perhaps this morning was different. to his surprise, he asked itachi for a snack. 

"well, what would you like?" itachi hums, running his fingertips through the soft strands of sasukes hair. sasuke pouts, and ponders on his thoughts for a moment. "something yummy" sasuke whispers, and itachi's face is far from impressed. "dearest" he says, and sasuke is already pouting again. "cake! i want cake" he says softly, smiling at itachi despite his pain. 

"okay, i'll go get you cake" itachi chuckles. 

X

_"sing me a song" sasuke whispers. the pair had only been together for a month, and even so knowing itachi as long as sasuke had lived. itachi didn't sing, but that didn't stop sasuke from asking. itachi is taken back for a moment, he'd never really sang, much less around anyone. he gulps and shakes his head, but sasuke is of course persistent. "please, please, please" he pleads, crawling into itachi's lap. knowing the olders every weakness, as he rested his head in the crook of itachi's neck, and gently glided his lips against the skin._

_"fine, fine" itachi says, jokingly rolling his eyes. he rewarded with sasuke still sat in his lap, although clapping this time. itachi ponders on his thoughts for a moment, they're a million songs he could sing. or billions of words he could use to form a song to sing. yet somehow, none of those words seemed good enough. nothing could describe how he felt for sasuke, nothing was good enough to match his love for the younger. yet, he was going to try.  
  
_ _"beauty queen of only 16, he had some trouble with himself" itachi sings quietly, playing with sasukes hair. "he was always there to help him, he always belonged to someone else" as he continues to sing. sasuke leans in against his chest, closing his eyes. feeling some sense of security, by being held by the older. like all the horrible things didn't exist, all the bad things, the toxicity that life breeds, was somehow erased.  
_

X

"nasty" sasuke pouts. itachi only sighs in response, staring at the plate of food placed in front of his boyfriend. "dearest" and sasuke only sticks his tongue out in response, "eat, please" to which sasuke shakes his head. "their food is yucky" sasuke whines, sinking back into his bed with a whimper. itachi's heart breaks at the fact there was nothing he could do to atleast make sasuke more comfortable. although, perhaps he could make his taste buds a bit more happy. 

"fine, how about this" he says, reaching into one of the grocery bags that was next to his chair. sasuke perks his attention up, lips puckered and eyes widened. itachi carefully pulls out a bag of hot fries, taki's, he wasn't quite sure what their name was. he just saw the bag, and knew sasuke loved spicy things. and itachi was right, his eyes light up when he sees them. making very intense grabby hands towards them. 

"just don't tell the nurses" itachi chuckles, handing the bag over to the smaller boy. although he proves unable to have the strength to even open them on his own. itachi smiles at him, seeing sasuke is a bit discouraged. "you know i'll always take care of you" itachi whispers, carefully taking the bag from his hands and opening it for him. sasukes attention moves down to his lap, "but when will i take care of you?" he asks, voice wavering. 

"by being you, my love" itachi says, placing the bag back in his lap, and kissing his forehead. "by being you". 

X

the following day, sasuke was fast asleep. and itachi was of course at his bed side, reading a book. he flipped the page as he read, always enjoying long, fantasy novels. this particular one was about a vampire, which sasuke had always jokingly said he was going to be a vampire due to how pale he was. somehow it comforted him to read about, although his peace and quiet was soon intruded. he could hear multiple sets of footsteps approaching their room, placing his book down in his lap.

the door opens, and a nurse steps through with a tall figure behind her. itachi narrows his eyes, and jumps from his seat the moment the nurse steps to the side. "sasuke has-" she says, although itachi has already jumped from his seat. "get out" he says. shisui sighs, and the nurse is in a state of shock. "itachi, i came to talk" shisui says quietly, as he could see sasuke sleeping. "i said get out!" itachi shouts, his skin already turning shades of red. 

"itachi, please" shisui says once more, taking a step forward. "my boyfriend is trying to sleep, i said get out" itachi repeats. the nurse was visibly shooken up, although itachi only scared her more when he stormed towards them. he grabs shisui by his wrist, and drags him into the hallway. the nurse follows them out and carefully closes the door behind them. 

itachi stares at the older man for a moment, with pure hatred behind his gaze. he gazes down at shisui, and examines his outfit. "rich daddy has you dressing pretty now, hm?" he snarls, as the older was dressed in a suit. shisui only sighs in response, and attempts to lock eyes with itachi. "i just want to talk to him" he says quietly, knowing his tone would likely be met with a much louder one. 

"and what is there to talk about?" itachi outright laughs in his face. shaking his head in response to the man. "us, i want to talk about . . us" shisui says, although once again itachi is laughing. "there is no more of that, remember? you ruined that" he says. shisui nods, he knew he was guilty, he knew he had no way to make itachi listen to him. "i love him, itachi" shisui murmurs, "i'm not here to take him from you" he adds. "i'm here to say goodbye".

"love" itachi laughs, "love, love, love" he chants. "you love him? huh?" the nurse giving them an unsteady look, although not quite going to get help yet. "do you remember that day?" itachi asks, eyes narrowed. "do you?" he asks once more. "the day he caught you cheating" itachi begins, his fingers already curling into a fist. "and instead of comforting him, instead of loving him you fucking tried to hit him!" he shouts. 

"i was drunk itachi" shisui's voice was nothing more then a whisper compared to itachi's. "i never wanted to hurt him" he says, pain wavering through his tone. "he still flinches anytime someone even raises their arm!" itachi shouts. "you're never going near him again!" he says, this time stepping forward. and despite shisui being older, and a bit taller. itachi is easily able to grab him by the collar of his designer, white-button up. and hoist him up and shove him against the wall. 

"fuck you, and the ground you walk on" he whispers in shisui's ear before releasing him. turning his back to the nurse, who was watching in horror. shisui's eyes widen before he gulps, and turns to walk away.

X

"his condition is worsening" the doctor says to itachi as the two stood in the hallway. itachi nods, leaning back against the wall behind him. "hes been sleeping quite a lot more" the doctor begins, "and seems to be unable to keep almost any meal down" he adds. itachi gently sways himself side to side, in an attempt to keep his composure as the doctor spoke.

"as well as the nurses have noticed a bit of yellowing of his skin" he sighs. "how long" itachi whispers, "how much longer does he have" as he keeps his head down. "its hard to say" the doctor says, "the five year survival rate for stomach cancer is nearly 4 percent" and itachi tried so hard to cling to that 4 percent. but even so, reality was right in his face. sasuke was going to die, there was no saving him, there was no happy ending.

"will there be pain?" he asks, as a lone tear streams down his cheek. shrouded by the shadows of his gaze locked on the ground. the doctor can only sigh once more, despite having been in the practice for decades. it still hurt him to answer these questions. "not more pain then he's already in" the doctor says. and itachi nods, thanking the man before making his way back down the hallway.

he makes his way down the hospice hallway, passing all the rooms. most rooms had two people in them, but sasukes was a personal room. as they paid for him to have a private room. the hallway was decorated with various fancy paintings on the walls every so often. with machines for charting randomly sat and placed to be used by the nurses and nursing assistants. 

finally itachi comes back to sasukes room after a long walk, with intrusive thoughts at his every stride. he steps in the room quietly, and gazes out the window. night had already long enveloped the sky above, constellations of stars piercing the night sky together. sasuke was sat, half sat up in his bed and staring out the window as well. "you're awake, mother will be visiting tomorrow" itachi hums, and sasuke looks over towards him, somehow smiling through all the pain he was in. 

itachi found it sorrowful, how ever since they had found out it was terminal. he hadn't seen sasuke cry, not once. he was always smiling, and when asked why, his answer was simple. that he wanted to treasure each and every moment he had left with itachi, to hold his hand until his dying breath. 

"will you sing to me?" sasuke asks softly, and itachis heavy footsteps make their way over towards sasukes bed side. he nods, as he takes sasuke's hand into his own, which was so much colder then his in comparison. "you make me" itachi sings gently, "feel like i'm living a teenage dream". carefully interlacing sasuke's fingertips with his own, "i can't sleep, lets run away and never look back". and sasuke smiles. despite the pain, he relaxes back into his bed, laying comfortably as his eyes blink closed. its not long before he can no longer keep his eyes open, getting one last glimpse at itachi just before he loses conciousness. 

X

itachi woke up to the chirping of birds. the window was open, itachi supposed he had fallen asleep before being able to close it. he was leaned over, sat in the chair but laying in sasukes lap. he carefully sits up, being gentle so he wouldn't wake his lover. sasuke looked peaceful as he slept, itachi rubbed his eye and stretched in his seat. soon, his ears fixated on a constant beeping that he had been blocking out, he gazes around the room for a moment. 

until his attention is drawn to one of the monitors attached to sasuke. its beeping steadily, loudly, and theres just a flat line sat across the screen. itachi quickly takes to his feet, and presses the button to call the nurses immediately. "sasuke" itachi whispers, dashing around the bed to the side the chair wasn't on. he sits on the edge of the bed, and reaches out for his lovers hand. it was colder, colder then it was last night. 

"its okay, i-i'll get bl-blankets" itachi babbles, trying to tuck sasukes skin beneath the blankets. feeling his forehead, looking for any sign of life. any fragment to cling to, to run away from reality. he reaches back under the blankets to take sasukes hand to hold. "sasuke" he says once more, lifting his hand a bit. although it was limp, showing no sign of movement. "sasuke, sasuke wake up" he says, shaking his hand a bit.

"w-wake up" he whimpers, tears beginning to run down his cheeks. pulling the blankets off his body, to expose his tiny, frail body. "say something" he whispers, moving to pull sasuke into his arms. when he does so, sasukes head falls back over his arm, as itachi clings onto his fragile body. feeling as if at any moment, his delicate bones could snap. "say something, sasuke say something" he whispers, voice wavering. 

he can hear the nurses footsteps approaching, and the beeping of the monitor, his world was twisting. still its twisting, without an end in sight, crumbling around him. "say something, wake up" he says as he shakes sasuke, "say something, say something, say something" he repeats, soon his whispers turn into whimpers, that turn into screams. 

X

there was a gentle knocking against the apartment door. shisui stood ahead of it, fingertips curled into a fist to knock. he recived no response, so he knocks louder once more. it had been three days since sasuke's death. and itachi had confided himself to their apartment. he hadn't answered his phone for nearly two days. shisui didn't expect a response to his texts, however he had contacted his mother and she hadn't spoken to him either.

shisui sighs, still getting no response to his knocking. he hears a faint noise, pressing his ear to the door in an attempt to listen to the sound. he notices its a song, although all hes able to make out of it was something about a teenage dream. he attempts to open the door himself, although shockingly, its locked. with one final sigh he gazes over at a plant placed in the hallway next to their apartment. making his way over towards it and examining it. 

once he decides to pick it up entirely, he discovers a small key placed under it. he doesn't quite accept his victory yet, as he had no clue if the key even worked. he takes it to hand and makes his way back over to the apartment door. carefully inserting the key and turning the knob to open it. to his surprise, it does work. 

once he enters the apartment he can hear the music more clearly, it appearing to be the same song on a loop. the tv was off, and most of the lights were off. he walks through the apartment, and spots itachi's phone placed on the center of their bed. narrowing his eyes until he turns around to see the bathroom light was ajar, with light flooding out the cracks. 

he walks carefully to the door. almost afraid of what could be on the other side, as he finally reaches it. and pushes it open with hesitation. the metallic stench is what overcomes him first, wavering over his body as he steps through the door. and his stomach begins to churn as to the reason why that could be so.

before he can even fully open the door, hes greeted by the dripping of blood over the edge of the porcelain tub. the crimson flows over the edge, and drips down onto the once pristine white tile. as shisui takes a deep breath, he glances over to the source of the blood. there he sees itachi's body, submerged under a mixture of water and blood. his hair was tied back, and flowing in the water. 

he always did hate it getting in his face.

X

**12 YEARS LATER . .**

"you should come to the concert with us tonight!" one of the men exclaim happily. as shisui finishes signing a document for a patient. although he only responds with a shaking of his head, and a chuckle. "maybe some other time" he says, placing a pen in the pocket of the white lab coat he wore. his friends expression is nothing less then disappointment, and an immediate questioning as to why he couldn't go. 

"i have someone i need to visit" he hums, making his way from the building. he doesn't speak to anyone else, only walking down the hallway of the hospital he worked in. he finally reaches his car, unlocking it and jumping in the front seat. it was the end of the day, and night was slowly enveloping the sky. however, to his luck the florist was still open. he makes a stop there, and picks out a pair of purple lilies wth various other delicate flowers to add to their beauty.

he tucks them in the crook of his arm, placing them in the passenger seat before driving off once more. its quiet on the road, there aren't many cars and the city isn't as noisy as it usually is. it was always peaceful on this day, and at this point in time it was raining to. it was as if the world knew, and the skies, they were weeping to. 

once he reaches his destination, he takes the flowers back into hand before taking a deep exhale. and stepping out his car, as he makes his way into the cemetery. he always pays tribute to some of the other graves he passes by, although after doing so he continues to walk until he finally reaches them. two head stones were sat together, 'itachi uchiha' and 'sasuke uchiha' their birthdays and death dates were spread across it. 

shisui kneels down ahead of them, although sitting in the middle. "i knew you wouldn't like flowers" he chuckles, "because you never really liked me". he says, taking one flower from the bunch and putting it gently on itachi's grave. he places the rest of the bouquet onto sasukes and leans back. "work was weird today" he sighs, talking to the pair as if they were actually there. he had devoted his life to studying cancer, becoming a doctor to help treat it, and to help find a cure.he couldn't save sasuke, but maybe, just maybe he could save others.

"its been lonely without you, sasuke" he says. "and i wish i would've let you know" his voice wavering as he spoke. "i wish i would've let you know how much i loved you" he manages to choke out. "i should've, i should've let you know" bringing his sleeve to wipe the tears from his cheek. he wanted to tell sasuke, how much he loved him, how much he truly cared. although, he was always to scared. and now it was to late, it was to late to be regretful, he made his choices, now he had to bare the consequences. 

"i wonder what you two are up to" he whispers, tracing his fingertips over sasukes name ingrained into the head stone. "did he ever give you that ring, hm?" he asks, only having known due to the fact of when he found itachi, the ring was on the floor. perhaps he wasn't the only one with regrets, but deep in his heart, shisui knew the pair were happy together. 

he spends hours there, just as he does everyday, speaking to them. when its time to go, he takes to his feet and stares at their graves for a moment. 

"until we meet again".

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 4am tonight, when i was plagued with the thoughts of my friend who passed this year from stomach cancer. and how i live with constant regret, and how horribly i miss them. how easily i could've taken a dark path, but writing has seemed to help ease my soul. anyways, i hope you enjoyed, remember ; if you love someone, let them know.


End file.
